One of the useful aspects of being flooded with words and definitions and 'stated' meanings, is that I usually stay curious 'cause it had the opposite impact to what 'they' intended. That is, I'm curious about meaning, so I sometimes try to notice things without applying meaning (which in a mindfulness sense is a good thing, you see and experience stuff you didn't before). I think I was supposed to just accept the 'truth', but what actually happened was that I began to question the 'truth' more and more (my vocabulary improved but my clarity didn't).
One disadvantage of having difficulty accepting anything as simple (except sometimes when I’m mindful) is that it's often hard to let anything go. Every little detail seems vitally important. In the professional space I move in that can be a great advantage, as often the tiniest detail might give clues to the biggest block or trigger for ongoing trauma. In a personal sense it often means getting stuck on something insignificant, believing that it must be defined or given some meaning before the tires can stop spinning. Unfortunately sometimes the smoke inhalation is too great, and the casualties (including the driver) are laying about recovering for quite a while before any forward movement can occur (or sometimes overwhelmed lungs and inevitable death).
So the huge meaning derived from this exhausting realisation is, as many gurus have suggested, “sitting still” and just “noticing” is a brilliant option. Sometimes words, and attempts at applying meaning should be left alone… ‘cause later you realise it was a completely meaningless process, and worse it destroyed something incredibly meaningful and beautiful.
So the most difficult bit…
When the tires are spinning and there’s lots of sensational action… that can temporarily feel like some sort of progress, but in fact you are just wearing out a resource that might be useful for grip later in the trip. The Dilemma: How do you first of all recognise that the wheels are spinning, and two, if you are successful at noticing the spinning, how do you stop it?
Stop feeding it! Stop the flow of fuel completely (and it might be a good idea to just sit there for a bit and decide where you actually want to go), then gently offer a bit of fuel so nothing spins.
All easier said than done… ‘cause you might have pressed the accelerator too hard and the fuel is already burning (fuel you didn't even know you had, coming from a hidden tank).
Back to the meditation cushion to strengthen the neural paths, for three reasons…
1. So you notice more quickly if the wheels are spinning (and/or you don’t touch the accelerator till you know where you are going and how fast you and your passengers can handle the trip)
2. You’ll be clearer about the track you are choosing
3. If you are clearer you’ll be keen to keep moving (and enjoying the ride/journey/path)
The perfect plan (mice and men):
1. Decide where you are going first (set the GPS).
2. If you notice you are spinning, you are giving it too much fuel (even if it’s the perfect fuel), STOP feeding it. Check the GPS (it’ll tell you if you have gone anywhere).
3. If you don’t like the track you’re on reset the GPS