Do you ever find yourself struggling with the same, or very similar issues with your children each day. Yesterday was one of those days, but also one of those times where I got a kick of insight from one of the kids. I don't think it was his intention to teach me anything. I believe he was just arguing for his right to be clear about his own goals and intentions. They happened to clash with my goals and intentions for teaching him something I believed he needed to know as a developing adolescent. Well, surprise surprise, guess who got the development lesson!?
The conversation [read: 'majority % parenting lecture'] meandered between attitudes and responsibilities, justice and fairness, and roles. And then it took a big twist into the fact that I had let myself down over a period of time in not being crystal clear with my own goals - big picture and detail; and as a result had allowed a bunch of exciting possibilities to stumble along as another time consuming job for me, instead of an enjoyable flow of ideas and creative output from all of us.
Teenager proceeds to ask some pivotal questions in relation to goals. My answers shocked me. I recognised that I had allowed a 'need to please' to override the big picture goal. The main goal in the first place was to involve the kids in goal setting, administrating a new business idea, and seeing the whole thing unfold as their created and evolving baby. Well, we have had lots of opportunities to explore the mechanics of business, and experience the amount of energy needed (in a very positive and draining sense simultaneously) to get something rolling that seems pretty simple.
So, looking back, it has and is offering experiential learning at the deepest levels. I assumed (hahahahaha) that I would be doing most of the teaching. Not that I thought I was a business guru, but I did imagine that I had a little more insight into the process.
The short story...
Oldest offspring asks: "Did you pay?"
Offspring: "Why? ...you didn't get what you asked for!"
Father: "Oh... you are right, I need to re-ask" [I did, and got what I asked for]
Father to Son: [Tail drooping a little, and at same time feeling excited]
"Thank-you for staying clear about what you want!"