Turns out he really had listened to the detail of my whining, 'cause when I returned this afternoon miraculous events had occurred. I'm not thinking "I win, he heard me for once" I was thinking "I wish I'd spoken some wisdom", instead of letting the whinging inner child loose that needed noticing. I wondered, in great detail, on the way to work what needed to change to get me from age 4 to 40 something..? What I came up with was focused around expectations, self knowing, and self love, again. If you've heard of the Johari window, I'm admitting that this morning Offspring No. 2 was unwittingly trying to make my 'blind spot' a little smaller. I should be grateful right!? Well I am at the end of the day...
Arrived at work and before I could focus on anything else I typed a list of expectations, at 90 words a minute, for Offspring 1 - 3 and the parent (most of it focused on Item No. 5 from Fulghum's list, "All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten" - see footnote). And I'm happy to say that I didn't present it tonight. It will have it's inaugural reading soon, with style influence from Cicero, as opposed to a 4 year old.
It's really nice that sometimes the kids offer serendipitous remarks about desirable traits they can see, that you haven't (blind spots to your own merit) about you as their persistent 'grown-up'. There's an occasional glimpse of mercy where they offer just a taste of insight into the fact that they do understand that the every-day challenges bring you to your knees, and you're happy to stay there for a while, resting at least a few joints.
Duck sleeps, feeling appreciated
“These are the things I learned (in Kindergarten):
1. Share everything.
2. Play fair.
3. Don't hit people.
4. Put thngs back where you found them.
5. CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS.
6. Don't take things that aren't yours.
7. Say you're SORRY when you HURT somebody.
8. Wash your hands before you eat.
10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
11. Live a balanced life - learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some.
12. Take a nap every afternoon.
13. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
14. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
15. Goldfish and hamster and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
16. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.”
― Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten