Well, are you going to give up now? That wouldn't make any sense (even if you're completely unconscious of the gap between what you believe and what you practice, you're not going to give up on yourself... although if you lose all belief in your value to anyone, that may be another story). Have another look at your beliefs.
Even those I meet who are willing to admit that they are deliberately manipulating those around them, are still hoping that their family and peers will believe that they're not completely narcissistic, 'cause the manipulating won't be as effective.
If you are really honest with yourself, even if you are a saint, the majority of your thoughts are about yourself and your own well-being and the welfare of those close to you (of course that in turn will be good for you too). Most of my work focuses on very gently suggesting that the self-talk going on between the ears, is spilling out fairly obviously into the conversation about what's 'all wrong' with the people they are fighting with. If I come right out and say "hey have you noticed that your narcissism is obvious to everyone but you" or "the reason your kids are bouncing off the walls is that they are quite aware that you are deeply depressed and feel trapped in a meaningless existence"
[And I have tried this approach].
Some will respond with "oh you are right, how can I become more aware of my own process and the impact I'm having on those around me?" "What could I do to create the conditions for more happiness in my life?" [Hahahahahahahaha... "sometimes a fantasy is all you need" - Billy Joel]. No really, some people do genuinely want to see their own patterns. Most, however want to get permission, a rationale in someone else's words to continue their manipulative (mostly unconscious) patterns, and maybe even learn a few more skills to gain the advantage in the social game. Some are very aware of this mission, most are just trying to assuage their guilt (or other painful emotions). It seems guilt is a naturally built in mechanism to help keep reciprocal altruism as balanced as possible.
Today I sat for a significant period of time hearing lots of detailed information that was framed as important for me and my role, but the entire dialogue wasn't really about the information I needed, it was about their image. The image is partly true from what I can see, but the impact would have been much greater if the information had come packaged as possibilities. And that, is about my image! I don't want to be told how to think any more than the other guy. So, with considerable effort I listened to my own self-talk as it suggested I was more aware in this scenario. Then I had to admit to myself that I did not have any extra clues as to how my role may make any significant difference to the people we were discussing.
My standards, they're changing... the most important one that seems to be left after the grist has done it's best, is: "listen to your own intuition, trust your own core". When I do, I almost always see myself, even if just a little bit, in the person I'm attempting to listen to. Not thinking I'm some sort of genius or super hero, but I have noticed that people seem to enjoy the yarn a little more, when I'm listening to my inner voice as carefully as I'm paying attention to the words, body-language, and perceived intentions of the guy I'm with.
A bit more from Montaigne seems to fit about here:
"To be found in every life. However modest our stories, we can derive greater insights from ourselves than from all the books of old... it is possible to speak no Greek, fart, change one's mind after a meal, get bored with books, know none of the ancient philosophers, and mistake Scipios. A virtuous, ordinary life, striving for wisdom but never far from folly, is achievement enough." Montaigne
Duck examines his beliefs, and senses a hunch...