Hence my next thought: Hypocrisy is a very necessary social skill.
If you don’t have the skill then you likely and regularly find yourself isolated to a bunch of philosophers, who though they may enjoy some intellectual banter, are not sure they like each other very much. And the main reason of course is that they value so highly the ideal that you should be openly expressing your thoughts and feelings in order to be authentically known, or at the very least considered a worthy adversary for a lively debate, that they accidentally keep pissing each other off!
And so, to the rules of social hypocrisy, where you prioritise what you imagine the person would like you to consider regarding their feelings, rather than exploring the actual feelings involved. Trying to maintain some sort of cohesive social reputation for being a decent bloke.
The detail is rarely dealt with directly as it would on many occasions be social suicide, and not just for that particular social event or scene, but could damage your ability to circulate and enjoy your life in contexts far beyond where you thought you may have had any influence at all!
So in order to survive the social jungle, one must have a complex level of understanding concerning the subtle differences between what is acceptable hypocrisy and what would destroy your reputation beyond repair if discovered.
Hence my need to simply think about the things I would like you to assume of me instead of actually saying to you; “do you not see that I’m faking interest in your facile life??? because I’m protecting my reputation for being reasonably civil” Again I’m not assuming that you have any interest in my life either, superficial or otherwise… I'm trying to be true to my values (aka not a hypocrite).
I had a fascinating experience today where I did not hold back my thoughts. I had arranged for a guy to pick something up for me that was too large for my vehicle. Hired by the hour to do what he normally does. On arrival he proceeded to tell me that he hates working this late in the day (which is exactly what he told me yesterday at the same time. I had asked yesterday was he willing to do the job even though it’s not his favourite time of the day, and he agreed he would still take the job the following day - today).
So, to my surprise he began the same tale of woe about the lateness of the hour for beginning such a job, and that the job would take longer than he had anticipated. I’m thinking [I’m paying you by the hour], but what I said was “do you want half the job?” [also thinking, wtf is wrong with this guy, and why am I negotiating with him? I thought the job was fairly straight forward] and "I'll get someone else to do the other half tomorrow". He promptly got in his truck and meandered off into the sunset without a word to me (I’m sure he shared a few with his colleague about not having enough information, and his personal view of my place in the Universe - I thought I had been fairly explicit yesterday about the entire task, and my role in it - I had left out my perception of my role in the Universe more generally - he might be able to assist me with inspiration).
I was grateful he had not loitered longer, because today I had no concern for how and where he may slander me, and if he had stayed I would have shared some more specific thoughts about other career options that may bring him more satisfaction…
No one in the building would have called me a hypocrite this afternoon as I openly expressed my bemusement at the fact he had wasted the best part of an hour over two days to tell me that he doesn’t enjoy lifting things too close to beer o’clock!
If he ever decides to ask my opinion about anything in passing in the future (it’s a small town, chances are he may want to know my thoughts), he can assume I’ll happily share...
Duck searches the pond [for a boat with an even tempered skipper willing to pilot till the stars glitter]