Initial motivation for writing here was just to have a closer look at the dialogue between Duck and Duck (i.e. Duck self-talk), and maybe some conversation with others interested in exploring their own definitions and habits. There's layer upon layer of interactive yarns to be had. It can be quite dangerous, even with the best of intentions [remember "the road to hell"]. Active choices, including choosing in-action [sometimes the best option] are not always straight forward. So, one of the Duck's habits is questioning definitions, also a dangerous habit [e.g. what is trust?]. Another habit and focus here, and needing lots more practice is 'mindfulness' and getting it into daily life, not just on the yoga mat, or while listening to Tich Nhat Hanh, though I'm realising more and more that doing time 'on the mat' is slowly but surely helping the useful practices seep into workable consciousness, and even occasionally giving permission for a flight of fantasy, that sometimes becomes real! [And the Duck replies "what is real?"].
A few disclaimers from Duck thoughts earlier today: [Not that I necessarily want to distance myself from any random ideas that may have been floated here, though I might in the future when I have more information or lived experience. It's just that...]
...sometimes there's reactions to thoughts and feelings expressed and you wish you could continue the conversation in a philosophically rich space that has enough safety to explore less examined beliefs, and risky enough to inspire new random or deliberately built frameworks. Some say there's no such thing as random, that there's order in the chaos.
Maybe it's more about 'claimers'. I'd like to believe or 'claim' that I'm open to adjustments on any opinion (though that may be way too optimistic). I regularly talk to 'offspring' about my belief that it matters less whether you are right or wrong, but the process, how you deliver your opinions or make requests for your needs to be met, is as important or often more important than the detail. All the while recognising as I'm delivering my speech that I'm intending [with lots of emotion attached] to influence in a particular direction. I'm deliberately placing great value on the process, and simultaneously regularly screwing it up. So, importantly I've never claimed to be particularly good at managing the process, BUT that doesn't stop me from aiming high - offspring happy to point out the most needy areas for practice.
So, offspring No. 1 states "now you are being rude" [after I ask him to have another go at requesting his need more politely]. I agree and state that my failure doesn't mean he has to fail in the same way (or in other words - "do what I say not what I do!"). Then, [head down a little] quietly, and much more politely agree again, and restate the importance of strongly held values above [simultaneously vowing to self to keep practicing]. I know the stuff I believe in works, and I know why I want to pass the deeply held value on. It seems a pretty slow process [Duck paddles frantically below the surface and Googles 'free mindfulness audio'], but I know about brain plasticity and that eventually the neural path will be strong, so am making myself listen to the 'audios', or repeat the memorised 'new scripts', whenever I can stop the 'control' for 3 mins (or even a second) and purposely 'let go' and really notice stuff. I love it each time I give myself that luxury.
That might be the key... That is, changing the belief that it's a luxury, and placing it into the essential box (or in Covey terms "important but not urgent"). I've been using 'Johari Window' in lots of professional yarns lately too, and what's interesting is even if some of your unhelpful process habits have moved from 'blind spot' to 'known self' - it still takes a truck load of discipline to change the underlying belief that's driving your actions/overreactions [go neural path, I believe in you...]
Final claim: This random [and purposeful] yarn between me/me, you/you, and you/me, is not about religion, mantras, being right or wrong, or pushing any particular opinion or path [though clearly I'm sharing strongly held values and beliefs and I'm really happy to be challenged - even if you won't let me challenge you back =] Main aim is to improve connection skills and understanding in all directions, and have some 'Epicurean' fun along the way http://comingunstuck.com/8/post/2013/04/epicurean-paradise.html
Duck at the fork... 'road less traveled', 'highway to hell', build a new road?
[hits play on the 'audio' http://www.freemindfulness.org/download - loving the Mountain Meditation under "Guided Imagery" at the above link, by Padraig O'Morain]